Someone recently shared with me the principle of the clenched fist. It says that you can only clench your fist for a short time, then you must release it. When I was a church planter's wife, I needed to remember this. Too many times, I kept going at breakneck speed without slowing down. I remember trying to find the balance between home and church. I now think that balancing may not be the best word. How much does each part get? 50/50 or 60/40 or 90/10?
There were weeks when special things were going on at church and 100% was needed. I had to leave some things undone at home that week. BUT I could not keep that up (clenched fist) week after week. I had to pull back after the special event.
There were weeks when my family needed me (a sick child, a family problem, a special occasion) and I had to do the minimum at church. I found that being fully present and giving my best to what is needed (genuinely needed - not what others or even myself thought was expected) at the time seemed to work for me.
It's not always clear and the lines are often blurred. (Do I really need to go with my husband for a hospital visit or do I need to stay home and play a game with the kids? Do I take on that extra job at church or volunteer at my kids' school?) Each one has to sort through and decide when and how to give and when to pull back. You can't keep clenching your fist - it's okay to release and rest some.
How do you make it work?
Been wanting to come back here and comment for awhile b/c I've remembered this post several times since I first read it. I really like just thinking that some things will get more time on different weeks and that's okay. It is freeing to not have a percentage that must be done every week but take things as they come and see what needs to happen.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being a blogger! I've been trying to talk my mom into it. I think we need more "experts" blogging!