Saturday, October 17, 2009

Celebrate and Evaluate

It's 10pm on Saturday night and I wrote on my calendar on Monday - "Write and post blog." Well, I only have a couple of more hours until the week is over and I either have to write a blog or write it on next week's calendar (which I do way too frequently). To top it off the good girl voice over my left shoulder says, "And you know you said you were going to write regularly." So here goes...

On Tuesday night of this past week, I hosted an evaluation meeting/dinner and it reinforced for me the need to gather and evaluate. (Always a great excuse for women to get together - but who really needs an excuse?!) The women on the planning committee shared their thoughts about what we did right and what we could do better. It was a chance for us to celebrate and jot down our thoughts about everything -from food to follow-up (From...make more chicken salad to... send notes to our guests.) There were many things that I missed and others noticed. Listening to others gave me insight and hopefully will help us make changes that will make the event even better the next time.

As a pastor/church planter's wife, I think we're sometimes afraid to ask for feedback. (Some are way too willing to be critical and who needs more reason to doubt yourself?!) That's why it's nice to evaluate specific events and share ways to do "church" better. I heard of one church who even paid a "mystery shopper" to evaluate them. Taking the time and effort to think about what does and doesn't work makes others feel that their opinion counts and can make the next event better (if we can remember where we put the notes from the meeting).

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Staying Motivated - Part 2

Having written last time (and it's been less than a week which may be a miracle) about how people can encourage and help us, I decided while reading Psalm 62 this morning that I needed to write part 2 to that thought. While people can help us stay motivated, people can also drain us and cause us to LOSE motivation! The paradox of people... ministry would be great if we had no people to deal with, but we would have no ministry if we had no people!

I remember a time when we had some criticism in the church and how discouraged I felt. I didn't even want to go to church and face people! It was while reading Psalm 62 that GOD encouraged me. Let me share a few thoughts...

God is ultimately our source of help and strength.
While it is good to have friends to share our pain and sadness, we must remember that GOD is our main source of help. Someone said, "Go the throne before you go to the phone."

David said to God, "You alone are my rock and salvation. My fortress where I will never be shaken" and in a later verse He instructs us, "Pour out your heart to Him." It is tempting to go from one to the other and "explain" your side of the story. In my opinion, that seems to keep things stirred up.

Accept that people will hurt you - some intentionally, but most unintentionally. Sometimes it's not even about you- they are already hurting and you happen to be in their path. Even people in church are imperfect humans and they don't always do the right thing (do you?). We are all in need of God's help and mercy. Giving that to others - especially when they hurt us- is a supernatural gift.

We will all answer to God for what we say or do.
I comforted by the fact that God will judge other's wrong actions to me (Get 'em, God), but it sobers me to think that I too will answer for my words and actions. Just because they act ugly and say hurtful things doesn't give me the right to do that back (not matter how justified I feel).
Having written last time (and it's been less than a week which may be a miracle) about how people can encourage and help us, I decided while reading Psalm 62 this morning that I needed to write part 2 to that thought. While people can help us stay motivated, people can also drain us and cause us to LOSE motivation! The paradox of people... ministry would be great if we had no people to deal with, but we would have no ministry if we had no people!

I remember a time when we had some criticism in the church and how discouraged I felt. I didn't even want to go to church and face people! It was while reading Psalm 62 that GOD encouraged me. Let me share a few thoughts...

God is ultimately our source of help and strength.
While it is good to have friends to share our pain and sadness, we must remember that GOD is our main source of help. Someone said, "Go the throne before you go to the phone."

David said to God, "You alone are my rock and salvation. My fortress where I will never be shaken" and in a later verse He instructs us, "Pour out your heart to Him." It is tempting to go from one to the other and "explain" your side of the story. In my opinion, that seems to keep things stirred up.

Accept that people will hurt you - some intentionally, but most unintentionally. Sometimes it's not even about you- they are already hurting and you happen to be in their path. Even people in church are imperfect humans and they don't always do the right thing (do you?). We are all in need of God's help and mercy. Giving that to others - especially when they hurt us- is a supernatural gift.

We will all answer to God for what we say or do.
I comforted by the fact that God will judge other's wrong actions to me (Get 'em, God), but it sobers me to think that I too will answer for my words and actions. Just because they act ugly and say hurtful things doesn't give me the right to do that back (not matter how justified I feel).

Friday, October 2, 2009

Staying Motivated

Recently, I was in charge of a ladies tea whose purpose was to bring women to hear the good news about Jesus. I asked other women to help, but as the day got closer I realized that I was feeling overwhelmed (it didn't help that I was out of town the week before the tea). Overwhelming feelings usually are accompanied by other emotions - inadequacy, stress, worry, and the "what was I thinking?" emotion! Two days before the tea I was wishing that I hadn't even agreed to do this.

Now, I knew having the tea was a great idea, but I was out of desire/motivation/spiritual energy. It reminded me of other times and events where I just wanted it to be over. (I'm ashamed to admit it, but it's true.) How do you "work up" the desire/motivation/energy to do things?

Well, there are probably a lot of different answers, but I'll tell you a couple of things that worked for me.

First, other people helped me. That afternoon, I was grousing to my daughter over tea and she shared amazing ideas for the door prizes. (which leads me to a second thought - don't leave things until the last minute - then you hate to ask people and are left doing it yourself- but I digress) I was energized by her energy! God gave us other people to help and encourage us - the Bible uses the illustration of a body working together. Other ladies in my church performed their responsibilities with diligence (hostessing the tables, praying, making food, doing follow-up, etc.). Including other people makes them feel wanted and it also helps you. Even simple tasks can be delegated if we think and ask others to help us.

Second, do what you know to do even when you don't feel like it. Sometimes we don't do good things because we're waiting for some kind of mysterious feeling. I've found if I will get up and do something that needs to be done (make that phone call, write that letter, clean just one room, etc) it gives me just enough motivation to do more. My husband always says, "feelings FOLLOW obedience." I usually like to wait for the feeling to do what I know is right. Doing it - even if it's out of a sense of duty and because you know you have to and other people are counting on you - can bring amazing results.

I'm determined to add pictures to my blog (I've haven't been writing, but I'm going to do better - You're probably saying, "follow your own advice!") Thank you, I believe I will.

The pictures are from our ladies tea held at the Longview Mansion here in Nashville.