I recently attended a seminar for church planter’s wives by Tricia Lovejoy and she talked about her personal struggle with devoting the energy needed to start a church and guarding their marriage. If we’re not careful we can just become “partners in ministry” instead of lovers. This is definitely easier said than done…but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.
How do we go about it? (Here are some ideas she shared.)
Set limits on work time. Are you still on the Blackberry while you’re eating dinner – if you’re eating dinner together? There is ALWAYS one more thing we could do – we have to set limits.
Create outside interests to do together. I know you’re thinking, “we don’t have time to add one more thing to our busy schedules.” Sometimes wearing a different “hat” can add fun and a much-needed break. Things as simple as taking a walk, playing a game, or fishing can build more closeness in a relationship.
Establish a family night and guard it with your life. You mean Sister Mabel’s hangnail is not a true emergency?!!! Put the family night on the calendar and both commit to keeping it. Having it the same night each week establishes its importance and it becomes something to anticipate.
Limit the number of nights away from home. If we’re not careful, we can become like ships passing in the night. There is NO way to build a good marriage if you don’t even see each other. It may mean getting creative with meetings and appointments, but it’s worth it.
Make time with friends. Women need girl friends – to laugh, shop, and eat. (three of my favorite things!) Take time also to do fun things as a couple with other couples.
Tricia said, “The healthiest thing you can give your church is a healthy marriage.” A marriage is never an island to itself; many people are affected by the failure or success of a marriage. We must protect our marriages from the things that could tear it apart.
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